Jul 16

I’m calling it the Cookie Jar Principle.

Jun 30

Oh yeah, a stepstool.

Jun 30

To recap…

Pull plant A from ground, light it on fire, inhale smoke into lungs, increase risk of cancer by 20 times.

Pull plant B from ground, light it on fire, inhale smoke into lungs, decrease risk of cancer. No problems mon!

Jun 30

Maybe it was this big, steaming pile of Schlitz Malt Liquor Bull @#$% from the University of Minnesota.

Jun 27

Yet another example of the kind of revolutionary discoveries we’ve come to expect from the cutting edge researchers at Harvard University.

And now, I’m going to go choke myself to death with a head of cabbage.

Jun 27

Of course it’s ridiculous to waste time testing for something everyone already knows is there. But I guess we shouldn’t expect much from a silly morning show like Good Morning America.

Wait, what?
Oh.My apologies, University of Arizona.

Jun 27

Ask what you can do for lazy, unethical scientists.

And in conclusion, I have a dream — of one giant leap for mankind.

Jun 26

U.S. government researchers have found that smoking 11 to 50 marijuana cigarettes a day may, I repeat may be harmful to your health.    

Jun 18

Canadian researchers have discovered hours of television viewing can lead to obesity. Hope to nail down link between wetness and proximity to water by the end of the decade.

Jan 22

An elite study of 20 Swedish cows could hold the key to reversing the harmful effects of global warming.

Burrrrrrp

And lest you think this specific area of research is the sole province of those wacky Swedes, check out what the Aussies are up to.

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